Love is Patient
In the first three verses of I Corinthians 13, Paul makes some points about the importance of love, as compared to the importance of other things. There is a lot packed in those three verses, and up to this point I have attempted to whet the reader’s appetite for deeper study. In spite of the work that is invested in my words, they are not the words of Scripture, so feel free to stop reading here, and study God’s word until you recognize the greatness of the greatest commandment, namely that we love God and love one another.
Verses one through three of this chapter make a case regarding the importance of love. The verses that follow deal with a brief description of love, and how it behaves. I would like to restate the fact that the treasure to be found will be found in God’s Word. One can find the first layer of treasure through a cursory reading of what is written. Let the words I write serve as if I had turned over a shovelful of earth, and revealed the beginning of a vein of gold. As I write, and say, “Look what I found!”, don’t get distracted by the shovelful I came up with, even if it does contain value. Instead, grab your own shovel, and do your own digging.
And now, let’s look at verse 4 of I Corinthians 13:
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant. — I Corinthians 13:4, NASV
And in the Bible in Basic English:
Love is never tired of waiting; love is kind; love has no envy; love has no high opinion of itself, love has no pride. – I Corinthians 13:4, BBE
Let’s begin with the first concept, which states that love is patient, or never tired of waiting. Another translation uses the term “long-suffering” to describe this trait. I will honestly admit that this is staggering to me when I take the time to think about what it really means. I have been writing about the importance of love in all relationships in general, but the specific relationship between husband and wife has never been far from my mind as I write.
I have stated my motivation: that of challenging husbands and fathers to learn what it means to love, and to demonstrate that love in imitation of Christ. This is not because I think I have arrived at my destination in this respect, but because I am whole-heartedly on the journey, and want to invite others to join me. Because of this, I am willing to say that patience is a battle for me, and that there are times when I fail to demonstrate it. This reflects on me, not on my wife or my children. The fact that patience is first in Paul’s description of the behavior of love suggests that he was fully aware that anyone engaged in building a relationship of love with another human being was going to have the opportunity to exercise patience.
My first thought with regard to patience was that it was the ability to graciously wait for something. It does include this, certainly, but it also has the connotation of endurance (long-suffering), when circumstances are challenging for one reason or other. I raised this question with some of my friends and family: In practical terms, what does it mean, when we say, “Love is patient”?
One friend said this: “Love raises its voice sweetly when the spouse can’t hear the first time — and second time…” To me, this is an example of how a person can show grace with regard to another’s humanity. This friend refers to her husband’s hearing difficulties, but the same principle applies with regard to any physical affliction, and even to what we might see as personality flaws. The grace exhibited by a patient heart cannot be faked, at least not for very long. It isn’t a matter of squelching feelings of impatience, but rather an outpouring of abundant grace that comes from a heart filled with love. Any of us who are married have spouses that are human, flawed, and if they are believers, they are also the beneficiaries of God’s loving patience. This is the same patience that is showed to us, so let us follow the example of Christ.
Another friend answered my question this way: “It’s the reason Tom and I will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary next month!” To me, this is a demonstration of the power of patience brought forth from a heart of love. Twenty-five years is a long time to persist at anything. Marriage, like most relationships, provides opportunities to exercise patience. There are still examples in this world of ours where people have continued in patience and endurance for more than fifty years. The people in these marriages have learned to show patience. Another word that comes to my mind is faithfulness. Not just the kind of faithfulness that relates to moral purity, but also the kind of faithfulness that continues to do what is right.
Often, patience is about the little things in life. It seems easier to be a hero every once in a while than it does to do what is right, in the little things, today.
Love is patient. When we talk about the difficulty of demonstrating patience we may be focusing on the areas within ourselves where we are still wallowing in selfishness. Love is patient. It doesn’t try to be patient, it just is. Paul isn’t saying here that love should be patient. The practical application of this fact is this: If we find ourselves struggling to be patient in our relationships; struggling and failing to demonstrate this patience, let us respond by going to the heart of the matter. Lack of patience is a symptom of a deeper problem, which is a lack of love. Love cannot be produced in some warm fuzzy place in our heart. Instead, love is placed in our hearts by the One who is Love. When we see our lack, let us go to Him. Our love for Him will grow if we draw near to Him. When we see His patience for us, it will echo in our hearts in the form of patience for others.
Thanks to those who shared their thoughts regarding this topic. If anyone has other thoughts feel free to share them in the comment box below.
