Love is Patient
In the first three verses of I Corinthians 13, Paul makes some points about the importance of love, as compared to the importance of other things. There is a lot packed in those three verses, and up to this point I have attempted to whet the reader's appetite for deeper study. In spite of the work that is invested in my words, they are not the words of Scripture, so feel free to stop reading here, and study God's word until you recognize the greatness of the greatest commandment, namely that we love God and love one another.
Verses one through three of this chapter make a case regarding the importance of love. The verses that follow deal with a brief description of love, and how it behaves. I would like to restate the fact that the treasure to be found will be found in God's Word. One can find the first layer of treasure through a cursory reading of what is written. Let the words I write serve as if I had turned over a shovelful of earth, and revealed the beginning of a vein of gold. As I write, and say, "Look what I found!", don't get distracted by the shovelful I came up with, even if it does contain value. Instead, grab your own shovel, and do your own digging.
And now, let's look at verse 4 of I Corinthians 13:
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant. — I Corinthians 13:4, NASV
And in the Bible in Basic English:
Love is never tired of waiting; love is kind; love has no envy; love has no high opinion of itself, love has no pride. – I Corinthians 13:4, BBE
Let's begin with the first concept, which states that love is patient, or never tired of waiting. Another translation uses the term "long-suffering" to describe this trait. I will honestly admit that this is staggering to me when I take the time to think about what it really means. I have been writing about the importance of love in all relationships in general, but the specific relationship between husband and wife has never been far from my mind as I write.
I have stated my motivation: that of challenging husbands and fathers to learn what it means to love, and to demonstrate that love in imitation of Christ. This is not because I think I have arrived at my destination in this respect, but because I am whole-heartedly on the journey, and want to invite others to join me. Because of this, I am willing to say that patience is a battle for me, and that there are times when I fail to demonstrate it. This reflects on me, not on my wife or my children. The fact that patience is first in Paul's description of the behavior of love suggests that he was fully aware that anyone engaged in building a relationship of love with another human being was going to have the opportunity to exercise patience.
My first thought with regard to patience was that it was the ability to graciously wait for something. It does include this, certainly, but it also has the connotation of endurance (long-suffering), when circumstances are challenging for one reason or other. I raised this question with some of my friends and family: In practical terms, what does it mean, when we say, "Love is patient"?
One friend said this: "Love raises its voice sweetly when the spouse can't hear the first time -- and second time..." To me, this is an example of how a person can show grace with regard to another's humanity. This friend refers to her husband's hearing difficulties, but the same principle applies with regard to any physical affliction, and even to what we might see as personality flaws. The grace exhibited by a patient heart cannot be faked, at least not for very long. It isn't a matter of squelching feelings of impatience, but rather an outpouring of abundant grace that comes from a heart filled with love. Any of us who are married have spouses that are human, flawed, and if they are believers, they are also the beneficiaries of God's loving patience. This is the same patience that is showed to us, so let us follow the example of Christ.
Another friend answered my question this way: "It's the reason Tom and I will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary next month!" To me, this is a demonstration of the power of patience brought forth from a heart of love. Twenty-five years is a long time to persist at anything. Marriage, like most relationships, provides opportunities to exercise patience. There are still examples in this world of ours where people have continued in patience and endurance for more than fifty years. The people in these marriages have learned to show patience. Another word that comes to my mind is faithfulness. Not just the kind of faithfulness that relates to moral purity, but also the kind of faithfulness that continues to do what is right.
Often, patience is about the little things in life. It seems easier to be a hero every once in a while than it does to do what is right, in the little things, today.
Love is patient. When we talk about the difficulty of demonstrating patience we may be focusing on the areas within ourselves where we are still wallowing in selfishness. Love is patient. It doesn't try to be patient, it just is. Paul isn't saying here that love should be patient. The practical application of this fact is this: If we find ourselves struggling to be patient in our relationships; struggling and failing to demonstrate this patience, let us respond by going to the heart of the matter. Lack of patience is a symptom of a deeper problem, which is a lack of love. Love cannot be produced in some warm fuzzy place in our heart. Instead, love is placed in our hearts by the One who is Love. When we see our lack, let us go to Him. Our love for Him will grow if we draw near to Him. When we see His patience for us, it will echo in our hearts in the form of patience for others.
Thanks to those who shared their thoughts regarding this topic. If anyone has other thoughts feel free to share them in the comment box below.
The Height of Christ’s Love
This is article four in the series on the dimensions of Christ's love, as mentioned in Ephesians 3:17-19. We have looked at the breadth, length, and depth of His love, and now I will offer a few thoughts on height.
In English, there are several similar but distinct meanings of height. One sense of the word is where it describes the distance from the bottom to the top of something. We might say that the height of a particular tree is sixty feet. Another sense is where the word describes elevation, or the distance of one thing above another, such as the height of an eagle above the ground. The first describes dimension, where the second describes distance.
Speaking of the vertical dimension brings to mind the depth of Christ's love again. It reached down, as expressed in the previous article, but it reaches to a great height as well, covering every level in between.
As we know, Christ's love found us all in a very low place: at enmity with God, having no means of paying our debt, and no means of recommending ourselves to Him. With this in mind, think of the heights to which His love has raised us. We are forgiven, and now we are called friends of God. It doesn't stop there, though. What does the future hold for us because of His love? The short answer to that question is "Heaven" or "eternal life", but these words in human language can't convey the height of glory and joy that we have in store for us.
Rather than trying to describe what cannot be described, I will write out some of God's promises for the future. As you read these, read them slowly, and reflect on the height to which we are to be lifted by the power of His love. Ask the Holy Spirit to impress God's love on your heart and mind in a way that you have never experienced it before.
But as it is written, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him." – 1 Corinthians 2:9 ISV
The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him. – Romans 8:16-17 NASV
He who overcomes, I will grant to him to sit down with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. – Revelation 3:21 NASV
The passage from 1 Corinthians tells us that the height to which we are lifted by love is beyond our comprehension. In Romans, we are reminded that we are to be glorified with Christ. Glorified with Christ! This is the Christ who is waiting for all things to be put under His feet! In Revelation, it states that Jesus will give us the indescribable honor of sitting in His presence, on His throne. In last week's article, we talked about depth, which looks downward. Here we speak of height. Allow the eyes of your heart to be drawn upwards. Up, past the clouds of doubt and fear, up to the limit of your spiritual vision. From here, ask Him to help you to see further. Allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the thought. His love is of infinite height. His love for me. His love for you.
The sense of height meaning "distance above", brings some other thoughts to mind. Johann Albrecht Bengel, the author of Exegetical Annotations on the New Testament, published in 1742, suggests that height, in reference to Christ's love, signifies its being beyond the reach of any foe to deprive us of it. This is supported in these passages:
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him. – Psalm 103:00 NIV
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39 NASV
My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. – John 10:27-29 NASV
Thinking of height as a measure of distance as well as a measure of dimension reminds us that we are in a place of safety. There is nothing that can remove us out of that place, because of His love. It is interesting that the passage from Romans even mentions "height" as one of the things that does not have the ability to separate us from the "top-shelf" love of God.
I used to struggle with the fear of being snatched out of God's hand, even though I had read the passage that said that it couldn't happen. There came a time, however, that I was able through faith to accept the truth of God's word. I pray that fearful ones who read this will allow themselves to finally accept the height of God's love for them.
As in previous articles in this series, I would like to spent a few moments thinking about how we can follow Christ's example in extending a love that has a great height.
From the bottom to the top is where Christ's love takes us. From enmity to a shared inheritance. For us, this is a reminder to love our enemies. Many of us manage to show forbearance to our enemies: we don't carry out the vengeful things that we might feel tempted to do. Love, however, goes beyond just removing a debt. It exalts the one who is loved. To be honest, just thinking about this makes me feel like giving up. I, in my own carnal self, do not want to exercise this kind of love. It just isn't in me. And yet, because of the Spirit of God living in me, the power to love this way is there, and if I don't do it, it is because I choose not to.
Our love for others, like Christ's love for us, must also be a place of safety for those that God has particularly placed in our care. Parents, make it clear to your children that nothing will ever cause you to lose your love for them, and then stand behind your word with your actions. Husbands, you are commanded to love your wife as Christ loved the Church. Practice the kind of love for them that cannot be broken by "death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing". Humanly impossible? Yes. Divinely possible, and commanded of us? Absolutely.
The Depth of Christ’s Love
In this series of four articles, we are looking at the dimensions of Christ's love, as mentioned by Paul in his epistle to the Ephesians:
...That you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.– Ephesians 3:17b-19 NASV
We have touched on length and breadth, and now it is time to look at the depth of Christ's love. When I think of depth of love in a human sense, I think of how much a person is willing to give up or go through on behalf of one who is loved. For us, that amount often tends to be quite small. We may sacrifice a little of our time, energy, or resources for a loved one, but it is a struggle to go very far beyond that on a consistent basis.
The words and actions of Jesus show depth far beyond the desire or ability of unredeemed mankind. He said in John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." We understand this to refer to a willingness to die for someone, and it does. I believe, however, that there is another dimension as well. Yes, dying for someone is a huge sacrifice, but what about laying down one's life on a daily basis? Did Jesus do this? Absolutely! I confess that I haven't given much thought about the fact that every day of His life on this earth was a sacrifice for Him. He acted as a servant, and yet the depth of this is made more real when we think of where He would have been if He hadn't loved us. He gave up his home in Heaven to come to earth. He came down, or descended to a deep place.
A quote from Expositions of Holy Scripture by Alexander Maclaren expresses this very well:
How far is it from the Throne of the Universe to the manger of Bethlehem, and the Cross of Calvary, and the sepulchre in the garden? That is the depth of the love of Christ.
Earth, from the perspective of Heaven, is a place of infinite depth, and yet our Lord descended further. The grave, from the perspective of Earth, is also a place of infinite depth. Jesus descended to this place as well. From Heaven to the grave: what incredible depth Christ love has!
It is hard for our minds to comprehend infinity, or even to comprehend things that are overwhelmingly large or profound. Because of this, it is sometimes helpful to put it in terms that are personal. Christ's love goes deeper than my worst sin. Now while this is fortunate for me, to put it mildly, what does it mean to you? Christ's love goes deeper than your worst sin. Yes, even that one that makes you cringe when you think of it.
Jesus died for our sins, but He also suffered for our infirmity. Whether it is physical sickness, emotional fragility, or spiritual weakness, no matter how profound and low our infirmity, Christ's love goes deeper. In the eloquent words of Corrie ten Boom, "There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still." When we are in the deepest pit, it can be a struggle to maintain faith in the truth of this, and yet it is true. Always.
Depth carries with it a sense of stability. The foundation of a building goes down, and prevents it from being shaken. In a sense, the building becomes part of the earth. Christ's love for us goes to the bottom of His heart, and is an inseparable part of His nature. The scriptures themselves tell us that God is love.
The depth of Christ's love, then, can be illustrated in the distance He descended, the fact that no sin is too low to be forgiven, that no pit is too deep, and in the fact that an infinite being loves us from the bottom of His heart.
Before reading on, I encourage you to take whatever time is necessary to allow these thoughts to sink in a little. Christ's love for humanity–for you–is DEEP!
After having been encouraged by the depth of Christ's love, let us be challenged by the fact that we are to follow His example. Hey! Wait a minute here, you might say. We've been looking at the infinite here. How can I, a finite human, follow an infinite example?
The answer to this lies in the fact that as believers in Christ, we have His Spirit living in us. When Paul speaks of the fruit of the Spirit in his epistle to the Galatians, the first thing he mentions is love. Love, then is part of the fruit that is borne by the Spirit of God in our lives. Since this love is borne of the spirit, it has the same nature and quality that it had when it was demonstrated in God the Son, Christ our Example. Whether this love is demonstrated or not depends on our choice. God has commanded it, and He has empowered us for it.
Our love, like Christ's, should show a willingness to descend without limit to rescue someone we love. We must be willing to die, either a physical death, or the death of our personal desires.
Our love, like Christ's, should go deep enough to cause us to show forgiveness for sins of others that have hurt us. Remember that Christ died for these particular sins, and offers forgiveness for them.
Our love, like Christ's, should conquer all: weakness, fear, pain and hate were not enough to win out over His love. These things will not win over the love borne by the Holy Spirit in our hearts.
Our love, like Christ's, should go to the bottom of our hearts and to the core of our being, becoming an integral part of who we are, just as it is for Him.
As the challenges are laid out here, consider how they can be applied in personal ways. The details will not be the same for you as they are for someone else, but there will be application. Allow God to work in you to make you willing to love as deeply as Christ loved. It will probably be painful: it was painful for Christ. He did it, though, "...for the joy that was set before Him..." I believe that as we follow His example, we too have joy set before us.
The Breadth of Christ’s Love
Let's continue to explore some of the aspects of Christ's love. In the previous article, entitled "He Loved First", I wrote about the fact that God's love for us preceded our love for Him. While this is true, we can go further, and say that God's love for us had no beginning, and will have no end. We might think of this as the "how long" dimension, or the length of His love. For me, this brings to mind a passage in Ephesians:
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. – Ephesians 3:14-19 NASV
This is a somewhat lengthy passage to quote, but I wanted to include context before focusing in on the particular point I was interested in. To paraphrase, Paul is praying that God would give the reader power to comprehend the greatness of Christ's love, in several dimensions: breadth, length, height and depth. He is praying for the Ephesians to have the power to grasp something that surpasses knowledge. How's that for audacity? I'll follow that with my audacity by tackling the subject myself. Paul, after all, was an apostle, who met Christ Himself face to face. Who am I to speak on such things?
My confidence rests in the same Spirit of God in whom Paul placed his confidence. While he recognized the love of Christ as surpassing knowledge, he knew that the Holy Spirit could teach us about it. The word that is translated "comprehend" comes from a Greek word that means to lay hold of, or seize. With this in mind, let's take a look at another one of the dimensions of Christ's love, asking for His Spirit's power to grasp it. We've touched briefly on length; let's look now at breadth.
While I'm sure that the dimension of breadth may have other possible meanings, it seems reasonable to associate it with the scope of Christ's love. To clarify, if someone loves his family members and no one else, we might say that his love has a narrow scope. It can certainly be stated that Christ's love has a broad scope.
One example is the often-quoted verse, John 3:16. "For God so loved the world..." This describes the love of God the Father, but the love of God the Son, Jesus Christ is demonstrated by His action. When Christ died, He died for sinners. He did this in spite of the fact that in His flesh, He didn't want to. Christ died for the Jews, the subjects who looked and waited for a king, but rejected Him when He came. Christ died for the Greeks and the Romans, who were bought by His blood, and adopted into His family.
Jesus loved a fisherman named Peter, a woman caught in sin, a Samaritan from the "wrong side of the tracks", and a tax collector named Zacchaeus. He died for the soldier who scourged Him, for the thieves between whom He was crucified, and for the one who swung the hammer and nailed Him to the cross. He showed His love to me when He sweat the drops of blood in Gethsemane, and for you when He said, "Not My will, but Thine be done."
What amazing love! What broad love! We are so immeasurably blessed to be the recipients of this love. If it had been just long and not broad, it might have included someone else, but excluded us. Take a moment, and allow this to sink in. Reach out with your heart and "grasp" it.
And now, as we think with gratitude on what we have received, let us remember that we are to follow Christ's example, as stated in 1 Peter 2:
For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously... – 1 Peter 2:21-23 NASV
Christ, who was perfect, suffered unjustly, and did not revile or threaten. As mentioned earlier, this is evidence of His love for all humanity, and as He showed this by His actions, He was setting an example for us to follow. To make this practical, let's look at the examples of Christ's love that were cited above, and the responses they should inspire in us.
Peter did a good job of following, some of the time, but we know that he betrayed Jesus. Love the friend who turns his back on you in a moment of weakness. The woman caught in adultery committed a sin that Jesus, being sinless, would never commit. Love the one in your life who is tempted in ways that you are not. Jews didn't associate with Samaritans. Love the person who has a social standing different from your own. Tax collectors were despised in the time of Christ. Love the people whose professions are not held in high regard in our time.
And the person who hurts us when we don't deserve it? The ones near us who are being justly punished for wrongdoing? Someone who carries out an evil plan against us? Christ loved them: let us love them.
As I listed some examples of who Christ loved a few paragraphs back, I ended with me and you. If you would, think of "me and you" as covering the people who live in your own home. I hope these people have not tried you in big ways, but even minor irritations over a long period of time can begin to weaken our resolve to love. Let us pray that God will show us how to broaden our love to include those nearest to us, those who are different from us, those who offend us, and those who hurt us.
Following Christ's example, and loving others will never pay back the debt of love that we owe to Christ, but it is a real and practical way to show our gratitude to Him for making His love broad enough to include us. Since His love is infinite, there is no limit to the growing room that we have.
Again I say, What amazing love! What broad love! We are so immeasurably blessed to be the recipients of this love. If it had been just long and not broad, it might have included someone else, but excluded us. Take a moment, and allow this to sink in. Reach out with your heart and grasp it.
Next, the depth of Christ's love.
He Loved First
With this article, I would like to begin a series exploring the nature of God's love for us. I want to understand His love for the purpose of knowing what it means to us, but also desire to gain a better grasp of what it means for us to love others. God is the source of all love, and the supreme example of what love looks like. Since the Love of God is such a broad topic, I will address some aspect of His love in each article, beginning in this article with the fact that He loved us first.
To begin, let's look at one of the familiar verses from Scripture that support this statement:
We love, because He first loved us. – 1 John 4:19 NASV
This verse makes the assertion that God's love predated ours, but it also helps to show the relationship between God's love for us and our love for Him. The relationship is that of initiator and responder, like the relationship between a suitor and the one he pursues, or the relationship between a parent and a child.
It is not uncommon for us to see ourselves as being the initiators of our relationship with God, but the fact is that even when we pursue Him, we are doing so in response to a prior action on His part. Even in the times when we are tempted to cry out and ask why God doesn't hear us, we need to know that we wouldn't be asking that question if He hadn't previously spoken to us.
Before moving to the next reference from Scripture, let's take a moment to look at what it would mean to us to have this kind of love for one another. It is a very human tendency to protect ourselves from risk, and because of this, we like to have other people show their love to us before we decide to love them without reservation. In some cases, we seem to be able to get away with this kind of behaviour, but there are times when our reluctance to go first can be damaging to relationships where selfless love is vital.
An example of this is in the marriage relationship. Marriage is often a series of mountains and valleys, and fallen human beings have the ability to betray one another's trust in small or large ways. In order for the marriage to recover from these betrayals, someone needs to be the first to extend the olive branch. If we wait for the other one to be the first, it seems safer, but if we are hoping to honor God's example of love, we will be willing to show love first.
Our reluctance to reach out to another is sometimes the result of the pain that comes when we feel we have been betrayed. This idea can lead us to another facet of the idea of God's love preceding ours:
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8 NASV
This statement shows that God's love for us didn't result from some quality in us that was sweet and lovely. We, as a human race, shoved aside the paradise that He created for us, and chose to break the only commandment given to us. After the fall, we went quickly to the situation at the time of Noah, where our thoughts were only evil continually. Even in God's wrath and sorrow, He preserved a remnant in Noah's family.
Even back at the Garden of Eden, and before, God knew what it would cost to redeem the human race. When Christ died, it was at a time when we were still in our sins. It was these sins that caused the Father to turn His face away as Jesus died on the cross. And yet … and yet in spite of the noxious stain that you and I carried, God still chose to love us.
To put this in a concise and somewhat understated way, we did not earn God's love. There is simply no way that we could have. In spite of this fact, God did love us. One result of this love was the gift of His Son. Our acceptance of this gift is the thing that cleanses us from our sin. Why would God show us such love? I feel that part of the reason is the fact that God was able to see us as we would become as a result of His love.
In a similar way, I believe that we can, by faith, look at those around us through the eyes of God: seeing them, not as they are, but as they can be. It is a fact, after all, that those that we struggle to love are recipients of God's love just as much as we are. When we love those who are easy for us to love, we are actually acting as conduits of the love of God. The same can be true for those who have hurt us or are difficult to love for other reasons. Our love for them is a miracle, it is true, but certainly no more of a miracle than God's love for us.
I would like to re-quote one of the passages above, but this time I will include the verse that follows:
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. – Romans 5:8-10 NASV
This passage, beginning with the "Much more", is one of the most comforting passages in Scripture, to me. Again, we are reminded of the fact that we did not earn the love that God has for us. As we continue, however, we are reassured that God's love is not capricious. I think of the times that I might have said in my heart, "Look what I've done now! How can God continue to love me?" And yet, He does continue to love. His love, which brought us from our place of sin to where we are now will continue to shine upon us until His work is complete.
We certainly desire to please God with our lives, but let us not fear the loss of His love when we stumble. The entire sum of all human sin was not enough to erase His love for us. He loved us first, because He chose to. He loved us before we were loveable. He will continue to love us after we have been redeemed. These truths bring glory to His name: may they also bring joy and comfort to our hearts.
Note: article 2 in this series is "The Breadth of Christ's Love".